Broken

When you believe in someone so much that in your eyes even the air they breathe is amazing.  That feeling like you're always up in the clouds but then it rains and that feeling goes away. Like a lighting strike, quick and powerful and then it's over.  So broken.  So sad.  Feeling stuck and empty.  The fact that you can't understand what you've done wrong hurts me the most.  The fact that you think a hug and a smile makes it better. Like the memory gets erased. The rules can't work for this. They don't apply. This is forever. Broken. 

Wonder

"A feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected".

Things I try to do.  Things I try to get you to notice.  Everything I do I do for you to see.  Yet I can't help but feel like it doesn't even work. Coming out of my comfort zone to be "sexy" can't compete with the sexy of it.  How stupid to compare oneself to it.  How dumb do I feel?  But you notice it yet me I'm just well "dramatic".  Just another description of myself that I can't even fight because well what's the point?  I even try to just sit back and stay quiet wondering if that will be better but then I'm again labeled with having an "attitude".  East west north south doesn't matter because they all lead to what's wrong with myself. Maybe that's why you love it.  The fact that it's perfect for you, quiet and non dramatic.  Looking at it takes you to sometimes a familiar world yet other times take you to a fantasy land.  Maybe you want the fantasy because it's better then the reality.  I watch you stare at it stroking it looking through it. Me like a puppy begging for that same contact. You never believing my complaints yet maybe if I put them on it they would make sense.  This is the world we love in where it takes precedence over everything else that really matters.  I write this on it, but my it is different from yours because I like my reality love my reality I can go without it. Wonder.