For The First Time

You say I never write about you, well nothing good at least LOL.  So this my love, is dedicated to you:

Years ago I met you in a classroom, never thinking we could be more then just what we were.  Years go by, we go through life changes, experiencing everything together but seperate. We rediscover ourselves but different then the years passed.  We bring out something untapped from each other.  We learn new things traveling through new eyes and souls.  You have been there for me in ways I never thought imaginable.  I want to write a dedication to you daily but it's too much from my soul. The love I have for you is the scariest thing I've ever felt.  This feeling of being so complete is so frightening. I don't know if I can ever be enough because to me you're just everything.  You're everything I dreamed of without ever dreaming.  Your love is what touches my soul, deep inside of me, discovering things I never knew.  You're like this creation made just for me. You fit me like we are a human puzzle.  I can't feel empty because whatever I'm missing you give me.  This life we have this love we have everything we have created has been formed from us, together.  Even when there is bad there is always good to match it. We can't be perfect we can't be fake we can't be anything other then being US. Two people created to eventually meet and to take over the world, pinky and the brain style.  You're my safe place, when everything is wrong you're right.  I can curl up into you and know that it's gonna be ok.  Tomorrow will be a new better day because I have you.  Everyday will be a better day because I have you.  And as the great Jon Legend says "It's like I can feel, it's like I can breathe It's like I can live, it's like I can love

For the first time.

Love you Forever JaeBear

Touch

Don't touch, don't grab, don't look just sit there silent. 

Social Networks

What leads your life, what gives you your definition of people's lives. What makes you tough, what breaks you.  The place that you judge but preach don't judge others.  The biggest gimmick is the one we give trying to be real and original.  What makes this world amazing is that we are all different what makes the world hard is that we don't accept us all being different.

Ideals

I've never been the ideal, the ideal person  the ideal teammate the ideal woman

Run

You ever wanna just run, like just race to the end of no return.  Go away and never  come back never look back.  Take what's on you and go.  How selfish can you be? That's me.  Selfish.  Caring but not caring at all.  Telling myself run so that you know you tried.  Run because you see the future beyond what everyone thinks they see.   

Broken

When you believe in someone so much that in your eyes even the air they breathe is amazing.  That feeling like you're always up in the clouds but then it rains and that feeling goes away. Like a lighting strike, quick and powerful and then it's over.  So broken.  So sad.  Feeling stuck and empty.  The fact that you can't understand what you've done wrong hurts me the most.  The fact that you think a hug and a smile makes it better. Like the memory gets erased. The rules can't work for this. They don't apply. This is forever. Broken. 

Wonder

"A feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected".

Things I try to do.  Things I try to get you to notice.  Everything I do I do for you to see.  Yet I can't help but feel like it doesn't even work. Coming out of my comfort zone to be "sexy" can't compete with the sexy of it.  How stupid to compare oneself to it.  How dumb do I feel?  But you notice it yet me I'm just well "dramatic".  Just another description of myself that I can't even fight because well what's the point?  I even try to just sit back and stay quiet wondering if that will be better but then I'm again labeled with having an "attitude".  East west north south doesn't matter because they all lead to what's wrong with myself. Maybe that's why you love it.  The fact that it's perfect for you, quiet and non dramatic.  Looking at it takes you to sometimes a familiar world yet other times take you to a fantasy land.  Maybe you want the fantasy because it's better then the reality.  I watch you stare at it stroking it looking through it. Me like a puppy begging for that same contact. You never believing my complaints yet maybe if I put them on it they would make sense.  This is the world we love in where it takes precedence over everything else that really matters.  I write this on it, but my it is different from yours because I like my reality love my reality I can go without it. Wonder.