The Curve

So I asked you about it and you said nothing.  I know when you lie or aren't telling me something don't you know that by now? Asked me not to be like everyone else I did it and now I feel that familiar craziness creeping up on me.  The Lil person in my head telling me get your answers, look at the thread.  Except the thread is halfway, a reply with no question.  The cleanup and recovery there.  And I looked and I found.  And now I feel hollow because the one I trusted isn't the one I can trust.  Even the hurtful truth is better then the bullshit lie.  Never ever have I curved you, always telling you straight about the bullshit people say, yet the truth is there isn't it.  That bitter metallic taste in my mouth laced with curses and hate and Puerto Rican fury.  The rage I haven't felt in so long, have buried for a better person to become human, to become what you wanted.  And yet you lie, a tiny white lie nonetheless, but a lie and it hurts it stings because I thought I was the coolest to you.  I thought we were friends before anything able to tell each other the "realness" able to talk and not be bias.  I thought you knew that I hate fakes, people laughing at me.  I thought you knew what could break me, guess you didn't .  I feel the hurt more then the anger, hurt because I saw your words, angry because you made me do it.  Your vague answers and faces while your fingers tap away, gliding over the keyboard with laughter in your eyes.  Make me second guess everything I do or say.  Got me trying to perfect and cool.  Another daily reminder to fallback, another "don't do, act, or say" to my list.  Crazy shit is I can make this a war but you would only laugh at me turn it around on me, use it against me.  Turn it into a holy unholy war of words and insults and accusations.  Going against everything you claim, bringing out the demon between us.  Yea we doing "whatchamacallit" and going ummmmm, ummmmmm with the eyes saying the answers.  Your vagueness and "lack of memory" is quite useful in these situations.  Ummmmm I don't remember what I said ummmmmm why you mad? "Oh I see you just like them like the crazy ones", yea nigga I bleed once a month too like them, can't all be different.  But the major difference is I always tell you the deal I don't make fun of you I don't tell anyone to ignore you.  Change is upon us, not a bad thing but a rather a necessary thing.