Gone

You ask for it but you don't want my truth.  You want my reigns released so there they go, gone.  You want me to do me where there I go, gone.  I forget who I am but then you remind me and so there she is.  Everything about me revolves around you but there that goes, gone.  Just another mind amongst the other blank ones.  Mine filled with thoughts that I'm trying to erase.   The things I wanna say, gone.  Replaced with what you wanna hear.  My truth isn't the truth you want so that's gone.  My thoughts aren't the ones you want so they're gone too.  Reserved for me and this.  Only place I have.  Only place that doesn't make me feel like I'm not good enough.  The only place that won't tell me to stop. Only place that won't hurt me.  I chose this life and it's a great life.  But with being great comes the downfall of not.  The downfall of yourself.  Only place where my mind isn't angry but free.  It's free to yell and cry and still be ok.  The freedom I can't feel anywhere not even in a place that supposed to be free. Gone gone gone.  Words stop making sense world stops making sense.  

Big Girl Lost

Trying to put my emotions into words is the hardest.  Trying to get anyone to understand what I'm saying could end up in pure confusion.  Trying to be cool when I just wanna scream and cry and run.  Trying to smile beyond the hurt.  Trying to be ok but maybe I'm not.

For The First Time

You say I never write about you, well nothing good at least LOL.  So this my love, is dedicated to you:

Years ago I met you in a classroom, never thinking we could be more then just what we were.  Years go by, we go through life changes, experiencing everything together but seperate. We rediscover ourselves but different then the years passed.  We bring out something untapped from each other.  We learn new things traveling through new eyes and souls.  You have been there for me in ways I never thought imaginable.  I want to write a dedication to you daily but it's too much from my soul. The love I have for you is the scariest thing I've ever felt.  This feeling of being so complete is so frightening. I don't know if I can ever be enough because to me you're just everything.  You're everything I dreamed of without ever dreaming.  Your love is what touches my soul, deep inside of me, discovering things I never knew.  You're like this creation made just for me. You fit me like we are a human puzzle.  I can't feel empty because whatever I'm missing you give me.  This life we have this love we have everything we have created has been formed from us, together.  Even when there is bad there is always good to match it. We can't be perfect we can't be fake we can't be anything other then being US. Two people created to eventually meet and to take over the world, pinky and the brain style.  You're my safe place, when everything is wrong you're right.  I can curl up into you and know that it's gonna be ok.  Tomorrow will be a new better day because I have you.  Everyday will be a better day because I have you.  And as the great Jon Legend says "It's like I can feel, it's like I can breathe It's like I can live, it's like I can love

For the first time.

Love you Forever JaeBear

Touch

Don't touch, don't grab, don't look just sit there silent. 

Social Networks

What leads your life, what gives you your definition of people's lives. What makes you tough, what breaks you.  The place that you judge but preach don't judge others.  The biggest gimmick is the one we give trying to be real and original.  What makes this world amazing is that we are all different what makes the world hard is that we don't accept us all being different.

Ideals

I've never been the ideal, the ideal person  the ideal teammate the ideal woman

Run

You ever wanna just run, like just race to the end of no return.  Go away and never  come back never look back.  Take what's on you and go.  How selfish can you be? That's me.  Selfish.  Caring but not caring at all.  Telling myself run so that you know you tried.  Run because you see the future beyond what everyone thinks they see.