Clouds

I have dreams and aspirations but this cloud of smoke keeps me from doing so much. I make promises I know I can't keep. I'm tired so tired, addiction is crazy. I quit smoking one thing to start another. Addiction I guess hits this family in all different sorts of ways. I'm ready to quit this, I can't anymore, this cloud following me. I sit up at night thinking and wishing I could be a better person. Thinking of things that will never come true. I know I can make so much happen but first I have to do what I always do and that's change, but this change is for a good reason. I don't want this cloud I don't want to be that girl that wife. My mind is my best and worst friend. It craves it then curses it. The worse of two evils making me spiral down until I get up again. Waste of time losing my mind my thoughts get jumbled...cloud surfing was my thing until I realized that I could never come down....