Daddy

You were so funny when I was little. Doing your dancing around the house, always making me laugh. I never realized the truth until I was older, realized why you were so fun. I never got to know you like I should have. Never had that father daughter talk where you told me all about your life, how you met mom, how you felt about having all girls. I was your penguina but how much did we know about each other? When I showed up with a black eye you asked me what I did wrong? You knew nothing about me yet you did. I think you never got used to having all girls maybe that's why you always took the man's side. You were always there for me but mom raised me and I'm sorry. I never tried because all I did was blame you because that's all I knew. You tried so hard to please us all and Daddy I love you so much because I know deep down you loved us so ferociously. You were such a fun spirit. You were who you were and you taught us so much. You battled addiction and it caught up to you and took you too fast from us. I wanna scream it's not fair but I know that this is life and life is fucked up. Daddy you are always in my heart and I'm so sorry for never truly loving you as much as you loved me. I miss you much. The visits to my job every Tuesday and Friday, your air horn honking at me as you passed me by. Calling me dummy in front of my patients, making fun of me, I miss it all and if I could go back, I swear I would learn every single thing about you. I love you Daddy, Happy New Year....